Have you spoken to your wife?
Or am I gonna get boiled in a pot
like that poor fucking badger in Fatal Attraction?
Marcella?
Yes! Calm... Sit down.
Sit. Calm. Shush.
Badger? Why are you talking about a badger?
Fatal Attraction! Right. OK. You mean a rabbit, then.
Whatever, Simon. You know what I'm talking about. What is this?
I'm on my lunch break. I'm temping.
The Dungeons. OK. You need to speak to your agent. Come on - a monk?!
Have you got an agent?
Sorry, are you seriously nagging me about my career right now?
OK, then. How's your career going, Simon?
Yes. It's going pretty well. I got promoted to senior brand executive.
Remember? I told you at your mum's.
Well, congratulations, but I don't really care about... Please...
Madam... Sir?
Brother. Brother Donahue. You'll disturb my customers.
I'm being hunted by a lunatic!
Want a drink? Glass of red? Prosecco? Or a goblet of mead?
Good one! It's not funny, Simon. She's been following me for weeks!
Say she... Say she does something!
Oh, come on!
Like what? I don't know! Crawl into my bed?
Stick a packet of crisps up my asshole?
You tell me! She's your wife.
Oh, Christ. I know, it's weird, isn't it? I mean...
I've not really had a chance to see her like this. You know?
We've only known each other for the good part of a year.
She's fine. She's fine!
I'm almost certain... Almost certain?!
She's your wife, Simon! Well, yeah, for now.
Listen, Tania called me back this morning. She is genuinely embarrassed about it.
So that should be the end of it. It's over. Sorted.
I feel so awful. She was... She was so upset.
Well, it's not your fault, is it? I mean, she doesn't know anything for sure.
I mean, you didn't... Tell her?
It makes me feel worse.
So, she said that you had someone there with you? Some... Some bloke?
Did she? Did she mention she sang Dancing Queen stood on top of our recycling bin?
Right. So there was someone there.
So are you... Are you seeing someone?
No.
Not any more.
- Not least because your wife came round and called
me a potato-shaped slapper in front of hi - m.
Kind of a boner killer.
Shame.
So, things with Jon didn't go as planned.
I know. I just told you that. And you've not spoken to Jon since?
Uh, no... Well,
I, you know, sure, I left a message.
Here's Johnny! Hey, it's me.
Just wondering if you were around for a catch-up-aroo!
Hello, Jonathan!
It is the ghost of your friend Marcella!
Oooh! Have you forgotten about me?
Maybe you could call me back when you get a chance? Have a chat?
Chat-a-chat-chat!
OK. Bye.
Maybe he didn't get it.
He got it. Definitely got it.
So I, uh, yeah, I just... I'm just gonna have to wait, I guess. Just...
Yeah. Well, I mean, what else can I do?
Well...
I Apologize by Timi Yuro
♪ If I told a lie
♪ If I made you cry
♪ When I said goodbye
♪ I'm sorry
♪ From the bottom of ♪ Of my heart
♪ I apologise
♪ If I caused you pain
♪ I know that I'm to blame
♪ I must have been insane
♪ Come on, forgive me!
♪ From the bottom of ♪ My broken heart
♪ I apologise... ♪
This is a great idea! Jon will love it!
And maybe with some balloons.
What?! I meant "What else can I do?" rhetorically!
I'm not gonna organise a fucking flash mob! Are you out of your mind?
You sneer, but a surprise flash mob is the height of romance.
- It's on my bucket list! There's no doubt how
someone feels about you when you flash mob t - hem!
Flash mobbing them?
OK. Let's...
What's happening?
Are you OK?
Brmm! ..park Jon.
Oh, my God!
Have you been planning that?
That's ridiculous, what you just did!
How pleased you are with yourself. That was rather good, I thought!
Um, now, did you manage to confront your agent about the lack of work?
I was going to. I'm just... It's just that I have to... No, not yet.
Oh, hi, Marcella. Sorry, I was just, um... What did I miss?
Oh, not much, kiddo. Not much.
Not much?! Not much! Plenty of much.
All the muches. It's been a big week, Marcella. I'm on a cleanse.
Dear God! What did you eat? No offence.
None taken.
It's the spray. It's the flowers over it.
It's the flowers over it! OK. Let's try and refocus, OK? So...
..what have we got planned for the week?
Uh, call my agent. Don't stalk Jon.
Caroline, my flat mate, has won an award for her work
so I have to go to that, which will be a fun night
You sound a bit despondent about that. Has Caroline winning this award
highlighted for you how far away from your professional objectives you are?
Are you feeling resentful?
You got the mean mouth, kid. Just like your ass.
I'm not actually that far away from my professional
objectives. I'm going to see my agent-.
When you were stinking out the toilet I was explaining that, so, it's not that.
That's not why I'm not looking forward to it. So what is it, then?
Good evening. And thank you very much to the CNB for their kindly invite.
So much sweat. She was like she was in a Tennessee Williams play.
And this time she's written a speech and it's for a worthy cause
and the worse thing is, she doesn't even know she sweats. Ah.
It's gonna be awful. Will you excuse me?
Not again? Open the window!
Don't send lilies, darling! It's not a funeral! Peonies!
Marcella, hello! Hi, Pam.
Thank you so much for seeing me. I appreciate you're very busy.
Not at all. Not at all. What can I do for you, darling?
Well, I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining,
cos I'm definitely not complaining. Would you like one?
I love a satsuma. They really are the civilised orange.
Oh. Uh, no thanks. Oranges can be very acidic. Do continue. OK.
Um, I, er, I guess I'm... Well...
I feel like I'm not getting very many auditions at the moment
and I'm working in... I'm redundant. And it's great... How old are you now, darling?
Me? Yeah.
28. I will have a satsuma.
What was that? What?
Did you say you were 28?
No!
No, come on! It's probably a bit longer than that, I should think!
28, you old charmer!
A bit higher, a bit bigger than that, the age.
I was 28 once, though.
These are so easy to peel.
It's almost like the skin is a size too big.
Can you do Scottish?
Yes. Will you say "orange" in a Scottish accent?
Orange. Apple.
Apple. Shoe. Shoe.
Rebecca. Rebecca. Liquid. Liquid.
Government. Government. Photocopier. Photocopier. Award. Award.
Table. Desk. Hair. Necklace.
Owl. Computer. Banana.
Pencil. Sellotape. Blind. OK.
I have no doubt you are very talented.
You have a big face. And it bounces.
A big, bouncy face is very good for character stuff.
However, alas, it breaks my heart.
I'm just so busy at the moment, we're not taking on any clients.
Don't take it personally.
This bit is just as awkward for me. It never gets easier.
You're not joking!
You are my agent!
I've been signed to you for three years, Pam!
OK. I thought I was being paranoid, but no,
you have actually forgotten me!
Well, I had a problem with opioids for a few years.
Scottish.
Unbelievable!
- Hey, Jon. Just had a very interesting meeting
with my agent you might have found - funny.
Uh... I'm really sorry about the other night.
Please, please, please, please call me back.
Bye. Bye.
Sorry. I just... I don't feel very well.
That's a nice dog. Thanks.
What's her name? Pickle.
Pickle. You can stroke her, if you like.
Hello, Pickle!
Hello!
Hello, Pickle! Oh, you're lovely!
OK. All right.
OK. Um... OK.
Careful of the snot on her coat.
Right. OK, that's enough. Sorry!
Come on, Pickle. Bye-bye, Pickle!
Bye, Pickle.
Oh, hello, good boy!
No. NO!
Pickle.
Oh, no, not today, Linda. I don't feel great.
I'm sorry about Tania jumping on your car. I locked myself out. Oh.
That's so annoying!
For you. You must be so annoyed. Let me have a go.
Don't waste your time. It's got four automatic deadlocks.
The most secure locks available.
They meet or exceed modern British BS3621 standards.
- I bought them from eBay, from an account I
managed to track to a Nato base in Turke - y.
I mean...
I could ask if you want to come into mine,
but I know you want to be here...
guarding your domain.
Right?
Jesus!
Linda!
I thought you were Tania!
I'll reimburse you for the tuna.
You've been asleep for...
..three hours... and nine minutes.
Eh?
I was tired. Sorry.
You must be coming down with something.
Hey, Jon! 'Hi!' Thanks for calling me back!
Sorry. Just been a bit busy the last couple of days.
Oh, yeah. That's cool.
Uh... I was thinking maybe we could meet up, have a chat?
Are you around tomorrow evening?
Tomorrow evening's not great for me.
Um, I have those classes I was telling you about. 'What classes?'
'The life drawing classes at the art college. I mentioned it.'
Oh, yes, you'll be... Get to be drawing your willies!
'Yeah. Willies, yep.'
I guess, yeah. If I'm lucky!
I could maybe come and meet you after the class for a drink?
Yeah. I think we have a lesson this week.
'Can we just chat then?'
About the lessons...
Do you not want to carry on with the lessons?
No, I... I mean, no, yes!
Yeah, I wanna carry on with the lessons.
Look, I... I guess... I guess I could meet for a drink after the class.
That would be great. That would be great.
Yeah, that would be... hmm.
Yeah. See you tomorrow. 'OK.'
Bye-bye.
'Marce, are you in the bathroom?'
'Yeah. Just give me two minutes. I feel a bit rough.'
Yeah. Is that OK? Pretty groovy.
Are you getting ready? The awards start at eight.
And I'm not watching her melt on stage alone.
I think I'm pregnant.
Oh, my God. With who? Simon.
Wh... How... How late are you?
Ten weeks! What the fuck, Marce? Ten weeks?!
OK.
So how did you not know?
I've got PCOS. I'm always late!
Just not this late.
'..Heart failure in more ways than one.'
Hey, Marce. Hey, Bill.
Mmm... What's happening?
What's this? What's going on? Everything's fine. Everything's fine.
I just know you've had a hard time recently.
I haven't seen you much since I got out of rehab.
And I'm supportive now, and vegan.
Bar the eggs.
Are you not coming, then?
No, I don't feel well. Aw, that's a shame!
Stop. What's the touching business? Stop.
Guys, I need to quickly practise my acceptance speech.
Thanks so much on behalf of the Evelyn Project.
I really do appreciate this award.
But as of today, still one in four children in the UK are living in poverty.
On behalf of my team, I'm very grateful for the acknowledgement
but we still have so much work to do to rid the scourge of child hunger from the UK,
the fifth biggest economy in the world.
I share this award with all those who endeavour with me.
Bleak.
I would start with a few jokes, you know?
Billy! What? I've got to be really honest. It's part of my recovery.
It's too much, isn't it? It's a bit serious. No. No, it was great.
Do it just like that. Perfect.
You're not too hot in that, are you?
No. Yeah, I do think Lucy's right, you know.
I think lose the cardigan. OK.
Show a bit of skin. Let your skin breathe.
"Show a bit of skin"?! I'm doing a speech on child poverty!
Uber's here. OK. Right. Good to go.
Good luck. Have fun.
Well, you saw the permit, Kevin, same as me,
so you should have fecking known!
Hey, Marce! Hang on a minute! Hang on!
What?
I tell you what, Kevin, you are some kind of a thick fuck.
- What part of you can't close a public road at such
short notice? Don't you understand? D - ad, I...
I tell you what, if we get fined, I'll fucking come down there
- and ride you around that site like one of the horses
you spend all your fecking time worryin - g about!
- Excuse me, love, have you any more of that muesli,
you know, with the raspberries in it? T - hanks.
Ah, now, stop talking, Kevin!
Do you know what, you sound like you've got fecking rabies!
Why should I care how many toes a man has?
He can have fecking toes growing out of his arse, for all I care!
Oh, thank you very much. Much appreciated.
Oh, he's gone.
Hey, Dad. How are you, Marce? Will I give you a ride home?
No, I'm just doing my shopping, actually, so you can...
Well, I can hang around for you a few minutes.
No, Dad, I'm...
I need to pick a few things up.
Are you all right?
Right. Come on. I'm taking you to your mammy's.
No, I can't go... I can't go there, Dad.
Simon's there.
Right. I know just the place. What?
Come on.
Oh, Marce, if I'd known, I never would have brought you here.
But you used to love it so much when you were a kid.
God, you and Mum were so young when you had me.
Kids, we were.
Teenagers.
Did you ever regret it? No. Not even once.
Bollocks!
Even that time we were in that crystal shop
and I smashed those two vases and he made you pay £600 cash on the spot?
Oh, Marce, don't be bringing that up when I'm trying to enjoy my banana boat here!
Hey, excuse me. Can I get a glazed cherry here, please?
Awful mean, now, these days, with the glazed cherries.
Fuck, Dad. What do I do?
I mean, surely I'm too old for an abortion.
I mean, it could be now or never, right?
Look, whatever you decide, I'll support you, right?
Look, you know me. I'm not very good with all the...
You know, the stuff.
But you won't go short.
But I'm like you, though.
I'm so like you. Say I'm also not good at the stuff.
Then what? I'm fucked.
I did my best, Marce.
Sorry, Dad. I wasn't having a dig at you.
Eat your sundae.
On behalf of my team, we are very grateful for this award.
But we still have so much work to do
to rid the scourge of child hunger... Oh, my God.
She's actually raining on herself!
This is horrible! We're gonna have to tell her.
Bloody Cal. You can do it. Nearly there!
..to share this award with all those who...
endeavour with me.
Thank you.
Oh, gosh. It's so very hot!
Thank you. Thank you.
Hey, you! Hey!
Good as new. Almost.
Where are you off to? I'm going to get a test. What time are you meeting Jon?
Oh... That's not... Is that..? Oh, shit!
Shit!
Really? Yeah!
Hey.
Hi. Um...
This is Sally. She's in the class.
Oh. Hi, Sally, I'm Marcella. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Marcella.
I'll let you guys get on.
A bunch of us are round there if you want to join us after.
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Thanks.
He draws beautifully.
You do.
How was the class? Yeah, really great.
No willies. Shame!
But...
Oh, wow!
What?
It's brilliant.
You OK?
I just... I do... I... I don't know how...
I need to go to the bathroom.
OK.
I need to go to the bathroom now.
OK. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Do you want a drink?
I don't know yet.
Uh, hello?
I think I've got someone's pregnancy test here!
Marcella! Hey!
Is this yours?
What? No! No, that's not mine!
- That's not mine! This woman's just left. Walked
out there. Tiny little thing scurried pa - st.
Oh, God, how funny!
Imagine taking a pregnancy test in a pub toilet!
People are insane! Right! What was the result, though?
What?
Just, uh... Just being nosey!
Uh, sorry. There was... a queue.
Uh, listen. You know, I...
I've thought about us and, um...
The way I see it, I think if something was gonna happen between us,
is, you know, it would have happened by now.
You know?
I don't know.
It's just tricky. Why? Why is it tricky?
Are you still sleeping with him? No!
No, it was just... It was just once.
Just a stupid, stupid drunken mistake. It wasn't...
Right.
Maybe, you know, we're meant to be friends.
Just friends.
Right. OK.
I guess.
Yeah. So you agree?
As usual, I'm confused as to what it is that you want.
Of course I want us to be friends.
I don't... I don't wanna lose you as a friend.
I just want, whatever happens, I want us to be friends.
Yeah. I agree. That's great.
Woo!
Good. No more tension. Just do the lessons, and, um, yeah, friends.
Perfect. Yeah.
I'm just gonna go and join some of the guys from my class.
So if you... You're welcome to join us.
Oh. OK. No, it's... Uh, no, I'll go. I'll head off.
See you later.
Marcella!
Marce!
I didn't know whether to say, so I'm just gonna say it.
Oh, I don't know. Maybe... Maybe don't.
Uh, here.
Uh... What? Why?
Uh, tie it round your waist.
Oh, my God! My period!
Thank you. Thank you.
I didn't want to embarrass you and it's quite a lot.
That's fine. Thank you!
I'm so happy right now!
I'm so happy! Wow. OK. Thank you.
What are friends for? Um...
I'll see you later. Um... Thanks.
♪ Life is just a bowl of cherries
♪ Don't take it serious
♪ Life's too mysterious
♪ You work, you save, you worry so
♪ But you can't take your dough
♪ When you go, go, go
♪ Keep repeating it's the berries... ♪
Subtitles by Red Bee Media